I'm finalising my art-based coaching diploma submission and it's more work than I realised!
Frustration kicks in as my expectations don't meet reality.
It's a shame but life often happens like this.
Am having to dig deep into my 'grit' and 'curiosity' skills, but I also want to walk away from my books and sketch pads, and wish it was all done when I return. Ha!
We're fast approach the middle of 2024, and I think a bunch of us feel like this. Doing something new for the future feels hard. Really hard.
Jaco Pretorius from Unsplash
Remember how far you've come
When the future is appealing but seems out of reach, it's worth looking back.
We get distracted by the current challenge or the long road ahead, so it's easy to forget how far we've come.
The same is true for comparisonitis - that tendency to compare ourselves to others and feeling rubbish about it.
A better approach is to compare yourself to where you were 1 or 3 years ago.
This helps me remember what I found difficult then, but have new ways to handle now.
We ignore new knowledge, skills or information once we've acquired it, and forget the struggle to obtain it.
We believe we've always had it and get fed up we're not further along and meeting our goals.
But we can only make choices and decisions based on the information we had at that time.
Give yourself a break and notice how things have improved, moved forward or a new perspective you've gained.
I was inspired by a Liz and Mollie cartoon ages ago if you need an image to help with this looking back approach:
Image of looking back by Sabrina Ahmed
You made a decision to change and pick a new path because you believed it is better for you.
Don't stop now.
Let curiosity be your guide
Remind yourself of progress so far, and build drive by getting curious about what the new future will bring.
Relish what appears along the way.
I was struck by this post from Brad Stulberg, author and performance coach, about the impact of how we manage ourselves along the change journey:
We could get distracted by how hard changing our mindset, habits or coping strategies might be, or we could choose to be curious about it and enjoy the ride.
Taking a curious scientist approach is what I introduce to my coaching clients.
Discomfort happens when we want to do something new and different.
That's natural.
It requires effort and the brain is pretty lazy at times (or runs a tight body budget at least).
But if we take a curious approach, and test our assumptions, it's less scary.
What would happen if your inner critic didn't berate you?
What if your guilt at not getting as much done is a sign to give yourself a break?
What would you teach a friend about what you learnt from this experience so it's easier for them?
What will your life look like when you achieve this?
These are some starter questions but jot down others or take voice notes that work for you.
Also, make the outcomes you're aiming for so rich and enticing that you've got no choice but to achieve them.
It's OK to find change difficult, frustrating, or disheartening.
But you've achieved so many things already.
Remember the strengths that got you this far, Reader.
That'll give you the boost you need to enjoy the rest of the journey - it'll be so worth it when you get there!