I love synchronicity. Or the way our brain finds patterns when we aren't looking for them.
Of course you have to be open to the signs or trends that appear.
What also helps is noticing what you're trying to avoid.
The concept of resistance appeared several times this week with my art-based coaching clients, Reader.
I co-hosted a wonderful online group art-based coaching with fellow business owner and Dating Clarity Coach, Kat Nieh from thoughtfully.kat, where we explored and helped writers clarify their niche.
Resistance came up several times across the group once we completed the guided meditation and image creation stages.
This is why I love using art as a way to explore deeper emotions and connections that need expression.
It's very clear when you're avoiding the need to put something onto paper or look for an image that is calling for your attention.
Your desire for clarity or feeling stuck comes from ignoring these internal messages.
There are many reasons for this.
Maybe you're not ready accept the message, because it means you need to make a difficult choice.
Perhaps the message brings layers of judgement that leads to discomfort, such as 'if i do x, it means other people see me as y'.
It could mean saying goodbye to one part of your identity and taking a risk on the new version of you.
Ignore that resistance message and your body feels uneasy due to uncertainty and conflict about the future.
This is expensive for your body, and contributes to mental exhaustion, as your brain tries to predict consequences for all the various options.
You don't feel right, so you think things aren't right.
Listen to resistance and make a choice
The writers in our group felt energised once they shared the resistance drivers that appeared during the process.
Giving voice to it and seeing what is inside expressed as an external image offers valuable distance and a different perspective.
It's easier to have that mental shift and make a choice.
That sense of 'ah, I have to follow this message because I trust myself to do what needs to be done now' is liberating.
Tapping into those deeper emotions and abstract connections from an unconscious level boosts urgency that is missing when we're stuck.
You realise you can't ignore it anymore and become clearheaded and motivated to take action once the choice is made.
Suddenly, your brain doesn't have to keep all the potential options in play, and shifts energy into the one chosen with focus.
This could be what drives that rush you get when you finally make that choice.
You are buzzing and want to get going.
An invitation to stay open to your resistance
I hope this edition has raised some reminders for you about what drives your internal resistance, Reader.
Instead of avoiding or ignoring it, lean into the feeling.
I describe it as a toddler tugging away at your t-shirt trying to get your attention.
If it is a persistent tug, the longer you try and avoid it, the louder it will get until you respond.
It's better to take mindful action instead of picking something, anything, to keep it quiet.
Follow these steps to lean into your resistance and get unstuck:
- Find a quiet spot and set aside 10 minutes for mindful reflection - turn off all distractions and close the door so you aren't interrupted, or go for a mindful walk.
- Pick an intention that you need more clarity on - it might be a question, feeling, issue, blocker or something else you are curious about. Keep it front of mind.
- Focus on your breath and body, and get curious about the intention you want to explore - reflect on what is clear and notice if there is anything you are unsure about or trying to avoid. Don't self-censor or judge what appears.
- Query what is connected to your resistance - consider what emotions or judgments are coming up for you. Query if these are true or threat-based. Question if the thoughts are yours or judgment from others. Sit with the discomfort if it appears.
- Bring yourself back into the space after you've explored for 10 minutes - Notice how you feel and what you need to share or express without censorship.
- Write down or take voice notes about what came up in relation to your resistance - it could be whole sentences, a word, or you may want to draw or find an image. If you could share something that had no judgment attached from yourself or others, what would that be? Express that.
- Make a choice that challenges your resistance - you don't have to pick something huge. Small changes are valuable as they build up over time. Notice what you want to do next to build on this.
I've given some examples of how you can take a mindful pause - remember, you don't have to be sitting somewhere quietly if that doesn't help your internal reflection.
Some people get into this zone when they are moving - it could be during a bike ride, walk, yoga session, or run and so on.
Ensure you give yourself time and attention to get curious about what drives your resistance.
Remember, it's within you to get unstuck.
It's even better if you get unstuck and it aligns deeply with what is important to you.
Often, those are the tricky experiences we ignore even though they show us the best way forward.
Trust your inner wisdom and do it anyway. It only has to be for now, not forever.
Take care,
Sabrina
Burnout Coach | Neuroscientist | Art-based Practitioner
P.S. If you're trying to get unstuck, click here to book one of my 3 free spots for a 1-hour art-based coaching session (1:1 and online via Zoom)